Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize