I'm jealous of your bromance
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
My vagina just recognized that song.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
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