he shaved USA in his pubs
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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