I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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