so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
