Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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