I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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