I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
