Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I skipped work to stalk him.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
