Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
