Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Less talking, more tequila
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Randomize
