The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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