im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
that may or may not have been my penis.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
