We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
