so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
