We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
