kristin has been a bad kristin
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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