Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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