My nipple is on Facebook.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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