How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
