He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
