Apparently you make a good broom.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
This toilet bowl is my home.
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