We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
