She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize