I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
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