I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
