I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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