Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
