We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
