did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Randomize