Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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