Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Even my vagina gasped.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Randomize
