As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
