8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
