You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Randomize
