i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
