honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
