Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
