Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Randomize
