i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
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