wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
