please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
