My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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