some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
