I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Holy sore nipples Batman
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
