That's intense
You smell like a Billy Joel song
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I just gift wrapped bread.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
