Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
