Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
