He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
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