did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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