So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
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