I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
