Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
