dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
this just has baby written all over it
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Randomize
