i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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