hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
