I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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