If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
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