you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
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