I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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