God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
My ass is underappreciated
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Randomize
