dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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