Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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