pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Randomize
